Can you feel the Love tonight

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Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/12110310. Rating: Archive Warning: Category: Fandom: Relationship: Character:

Explicit Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings M/M

Additional Tags:

Festivals, Concerts, Camping, Alcohol, Flirting, Sexual Tension, Explicit Sexual Content, Talking, talk about suicide, talk about suicidal thoughts, Mental Health Issues Published: 2017-09-16 Completed: 2017-09-26 Chapters: 3/3 Words: 17068

Stats:

SKAM (TV) Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen Isak Valtersen, Even Bech Næsheim, Elias Bakkoush, Yousef Acar, Adam Malik, Eskild Tryggvason

Can you feel the Love tonight? by skambition Summary

When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly. Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. He was tall, even though not as tall as Even, had a really good looking body, slim and firm and defined in all the right places. He was wearing a grey snapback, and Even saw the blond curls spill out from underneath it. Fuck. The guy continued to stare at him, now with a smirk on his face, and Even couldn’t really look away anymore. - Festival AU

Notes

Hello amazing Skam Fandom! I actually started writing this Fic quite some time ago, because I went to a festival back in June and just being there and enjoying it made me think of this Fic. Then I sort of stopped writing it, because not long after that festival, Chester Bennington, the singer of Linkin Park, committed suicide. I actually saw Linkin Park live at that festival, and I was just so in love with them and with him. I always loved that band so

much, the way Chester writes songs and puts emotions into words is a fucking miracle. I don't want this to sound weird, I just felt like we can't mention him enough and stress enough how much he inspired a lot of us ♡ But anyway, I didn't mean to make this so sappy. This fic will have 3 chapters, and we all know I suck at tagging, but I'll keep adding some more with the next chapters I think. Also, I'm not from Norway, and I guess there are pretty big differences in different cultures concerning festivals, so this is just my point of view and my experience! This one is for beautisometimes, as usual ♡ ALT ER LOVE ♡ BE KIND

None of this should feel this good.

Even was feeling amazing. He usually felt like this whenever he visited music festivals. There was just something in the air that made him euphoric in the healthiest and most beautiful way he could think of. He wasn’t really able to say what exactly it was that made him feel this amazing. One part was the music, of course. Awesome bands that he loved so much combined with lowkey artists that were trying to make a name for themselves, combined with musicians that he felt nostalgic about because he used to listen to them, combined with bands that he didn’t normally care for but wanted to see for their awesome shows, combined with singers that were able to create such an amazing atmosphere that nobody really cared about their songs anymore. Another part were the people. For some reason, when people entered a music festival, they kind of turned into the best possible version of themselves. They stopped caring about their looks, because after a few hours, everyone was sweaty and gross and since nobody was wearing make-up or dressing up in anything uncomfortable, everyone was just being their sweaty, comfortable selves. Even loved girls very much when they smelled nice and wore pretty dresses and had soft hair. But he had such a huge soft spot for girls in rain-ponchos, no makeup and with hair that hadn’t been washed in god knows how long. Probably because those girls just seemed so much happier. People were friendly on music festivals, too. Maybe because everyone was being a little bit drunk, or maybe because everybody just felt really good. But they offered both hugs and beer, smiles and cigarettes, compliments and food. Even also liked the fact that festivals sort of celebrated everything that he was idealizing. Freedom, having fun, being kind, loving each other, celebrating life. Everyone here felt united somehow, like they were one big family. They were all here for one reason, because they loved music, and Even liked that. People were open, and respectful. He didn’t feel like race or age or sexuality mattered here. He saw young students talking to old people about music and concerts, guys kissing girls, guys kissing guys, girls kissing girls. He saw how people found ways to communicate even though they didn’t speak the same language. All of those things made Even’s night amazing. Green Day had just finished their set, and Even felt absolutely psyched. He used to listen to them so much when he was a little younger, so their older pieces were so important to him and his 15-year-old self. He had lost his friends in the crowd, but he didn’t care. They always found each other again, and if they didn’t, they met up later at their camp, drinking and smoking and talking about their nights and the concerts. So, Even headed to one of the bars all by himself, waiting in line to order some beer, taking in the people around him. Everybody was still glowing from the concert, looking like real life hearteyes-emojis. When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly.

Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. He was younger than Even, probably, and really hot. He was wearing what looked like chucks, all covered in dirt, a pair of blue jeans and a black shirt. He was tall, even though not as tall as Even, had a really good looking body, slim and firm and defined in all the right places. His face was almost angelic, high cheek bones, beautiful features, a cute nose and a sinful mouth with a perfectly shaped cupid’s bow that almost made him look innocent. He was wearing a grey snapback, and Even saw the blond curls spill out from underneath it. Fuck. The guy continued to stare at him, now with a smirk on his face, and Even couldn’t really look away anymore. “What can I get you?” The waitress yelled at him, and judging from her annoyed tone, she wasn’t asking the first time. “Uh- Um- I- beer?” Even asked, feeling more than stupid, and she rolled her eyes and placed a cup of beer in front of him. Even handed over some money and turned around, but the boy that was staring at him wasn’t there anymore. Even rolled his eyes at himself, making a mental note not to leave hot people like him out of his sight anymore and turned around to find his friends. Or whatever. “Hey there.” Okay, there he was, angel-guy, even hotter and cuter up close. He was also holding a cup of beer, smiling at Even. “Um. Hi.” Even was good at flirting, picking up people. Normally. But he wasn’t tonight. That guy was a little too hot, a little too confident, his eyes were saying ‘I want to be on you’ a little too loudly. “Well, I was sort of hoping to buy you a beer, but seems like you beat me to it,” The guy grinned, “cheers.” He nudged Even’s cup with his own and took a sip, Even following his lead. “Seems like it,” Even mumbled, offering a small smile to angel-guy. “Did you like the show?” He asked, shifting his body a little closer to Even’s. “Mh,” Even hummed, unable not to notice the radiant heat from the other boy’s body. “What’s your favorite song?” Angel-guy continued, leaning even more against Even, as a group of girls pushed against them to get to the bar. “21 guns, obviously,” Even answered without thinking about it. “I really liked Boulevard of Broken Dreams, too,” The guy said, smiling up to Even. “Yeah. And they’re so good live.” “They are. Did you see Die Antwoord? They were so insane.”

Even couldn’t help but smile at the excited sound in the boy’s voice, his eyes big with excitement and happiness, and it made him a little younger and a little more vulnerable, and Even realized he liked that more than when the boy acted all smooth and flirty. “Hey, do you want to get something to eat? I’m starving,” The boy asked, gesturing towards the food trucks. “Yeah. Sure,” Even nodded. They walked over the muddy field to the food trucks and benches in front of them. They both chose burgers and french fries, and when the boy reached for his wallet, Even stopped him. He was rewarded with the cutest thankful smile, and Even would easily spend all of his money on that smile. They sat down on one of the benches on the side of the concert field. It was already one in the morning, Green Day had been the last act of the night, and the field was emptying slowly. “So, what are you doing here all alone?” The guy asked, stealing some of Even’s french fries. “I could ask you the same thing,” Even answered. He couldn’t help but to be fascinated by that boy. He looked so fucking cute and insanely hot at the same time, and he was flirting with Even in such an obvious way that Even wasn’t used to. He knew that way of flirting from other types of guys, but this one was a little too cute, a little too beautiful to be this shameless. But, well, it had been a long time since Even had sex, and it had been an even longer time since Even had sex with a guy, and he was craving that boy. A lot. “I asked first, though,” The boy smirked, sucking some sauce from his index finger without breaking eye contact. “I sort of lost my friends in the crowd,” Even said, “you?” “Same. Guess we’re stuck with each other for tonight, then, huh?” He asked, and Even jumped when he felt his hand under the table, slowly running up his thigh. “Guess so.” “What’s your name, anyway?” “Even. What’s yours?” Even asked, locking eyes with the boy, taking in the deep green of them, the sparkling gaze. There was a short pause, before the boy cleared this throat, “Isak,” he said quietly.

--

His friend’s weren’t back at the camp when they got to Even’s tent, and Even was kind of happy about that. He didn’t mind if his friends knew he was having sex in his tent, but if they would be sleeping a couple of meters next to him, they would be able to hear pretty much everything, and that was a little too much for him. They sat down under their pavilion, that Even and his friends had set up, and Even offered Isak some beer. Even turned on the small lights they had hung up under the pavilion, as Isak made himself comfortable on one of the camping chairs, sipping his beer. They started talking about the acts they had seen today, analyzing the shows and what they liked best about them, discussing song lyrics and live shows and talked about who they were most excited to see in the next few days. Even felt so comfortable with Isak, that it almost felt weird. But then again, this was a Festival, they were both drunk and happy and it was just easier to talk to people like this, so Even didn’t really question it. Isak started talking about Rammstein next, and the crazy amount of fire they used during their shows, and Even barely listened to him, because he was amazed by Isak’s dimples and the soft curls poking out from under his snapback. God, he wanted to sink his hand into that ocean of golden silk. When they had both finished their second beer, Even stretched in his chair, running his hand through his hair, desperately searching for a cool line to get Isak inside his tent now. “So…” he started, not really sure what to say next. Isak grinned, “If you want sex, just ask.” Even blushed, because even though he knew by now that Isak wasn’t the shy type, he just hadn’t expected that, “I mean, I wouldn’t exactly kick you out of my tent…” Isak chuckled as he got up, “Well, I guess that’s a start.” Even grinned at that, as he zipped open the tent and got in, turning on a small dim lamp in the corner of the tent, as Isak followed him, closing the tent on his way in. “Nice,” Isak stated, looking around, as if he just entered an actual apartment and not a tent that looked like every other fucking tent in the universe. Even couldn’t help but smile, “Thanks.” Isak bend down to open the laces on his shoes, struggling a little to get out of them, and looked at Even, who just stood there. “What?” “Nothing.” Even followed Isak’s lead, toeing his shoes off slowly, watching Isak as he did.

His tent was divided into two parts, one part where he kept most of his food, beer, stuff, and another part where he slept. Even knew what they were doing, but he was still a little insecure, when Isak unzipped the second part of the tent, sitting down on Even’s air mattress and raising an eyebrow in question, “What’s up, handsome, are you coming?” Even just nodded, walked towards him, and sat down next to him, turning on another small lamp that stood here, as Isak moved the zipper up and out of their way. They looked at each other for a few seconds, before Isak leaned in and crashed their lips together with hunger and want. Even moaned into the kiss, as Isak sat down on his hips, immediately grinding against them. “Oh fuck,” Even breathed, pushing Isak’s snapback off of his head, sinking his hand into Isak’s blond curls and fuck, they did feel like fucking silk. Isak was panting as well, moving his hands underneath Even’s shirt eagerly, grinding his hips down again. “Baby, baby,” Even moaned, “slow down.” “Did you just call me baby?” Isak asked, looking down at Even with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, why?” Even asked, pushing Isak’s shirt up and over his head. “No reason. Call me whatever you want,” Isak suggested with a wink, before bending down again to kiss Even some more. Even had a hard time keeping up with him, Isak’s eager hands were all over him, grabbing his neck, roaming over his chest, pulling and pushing and touching. Even grabbed Isak’s hair again, holding him still, dominating their kiss, and Isak started to slow down, letting himself be kissed slowly and deeply, even though the kiss didn’t get any less hungry or desperate. “Want you so bad,” Isak breathed when they broke the kiss, fighting for air. “Fuck, I want you, too,” Even assured him, turning them around to take his shirt and Isak’s pants off. They were kissing again, quick and hectic and sloppy, but it was still so fucking good. Even felt Isak’s hands on his ass, moving around his waist to unbutton his jeans, pushing them down as far as Isak could reach. Even moaned when Isak grabbed his ass, turning them around again, straddling Even’s hips, pushing his jeans down even more as he started to kiss down Even’s body. “Fuck, you’re big,” Isak gasped when he pushed Even’s boxers down. “Um, thanks,” Even breathed, almost shaking with anticipation, the sight of Isak’s face so fucking close to his dick almost too much to take. Isak looked up at him and grinned,

“I’ll have you know that I’m normally the fucking master at giving blowjobs, but I don’t know how good I’ll be now. You know, considering,” Isak winked at him, making Even blush again. “I’ll do the best I can,” Isak promised. “As long as you get your mouth anywhere near my dick, you’re doing amazing,” Even panted, and Isak chuckled softly, “That I can do.” Turned out, Isak could do a lot more than that. He was the master of giving blowjobs, moving his magical tongue over Even’s length, bobbing his head at just the right pace, sucking and licking like a champ. Even was wondering how Isak normally gave blowjobs, because this was by far the best he’d ever gotten. He didn’t have too much time to wonder, though, because the in the next second, he felt Isak hum around his dick, as he pushed his head down even further, deep throating Even like he was born for it. Even moaned loudly, burying a hand in Isak’s hair, who moved his head now, still humming around Even’s dick. “Fuck, Isak, hold on,” Even breathed, breaking into a loud moan when Isak took him all the way in again. “I don’t want to- I’m gonna-“ Even rambled, gripping Isak’s hair harder, who pulled off. “Just come, handsome, it’s okay,” Isak assured him, lips dangerously close to the tip of Even’s dick. The sight made Even squirm with pleasure. He wasn’t able to speak, just breathing in and out seemed to be too much of a task with Isak’s face so close to his dick, licking his beautiful lips so seductively that Even nearly came just from the sight. “You’re able to get it up again, right? We have all night,” Isak said, raising an eyebrow in question, as he slowly took the tip of Even’s dick in his mouth again. Even just nodded breathlessly and moaned, when Isak started bobbing his head, before deep throating him again, swallowing around him, humming deep in his throat. Even came with a broken moan, down Isak’s throat, who didn’t pull off, but swallowed around him eagerly, before licking up and down Even’s dick a couple more times. When Even looked up again, Isak looked so damn satisfied with his work, that Even had to grin, “Fuck, you really are the master of giving blow jobs.” “Thanks.” “Just- just let me breathe for a- I’ll take care of you in a second,” Even said, still panting, looking Isak up and down. The boy was still wearing his boxers, but they didn’t hide the fact that Isak was rock hard, leaking pre-come. “You better,” Isak teased, lying on his back and pulling Even over him.

They kissed, slowly and deeply, and Even couldn’t help but feel – all of it, really. Isak’s breath on his face was hot and sweet and that wasn’t really possible, because nobody’s breath smelled sweet and perfect after giving head, but Isak’s somehow did, and it made Even realize that he was a little too gone for his one night stand. “Please tell me you got lube,” Isak breathed against Even’s mouth, licking Even’s lips, “god, please tell me you got lube.” “I got lube.” “Oh thank fucking god,” Isak stared at the ceiling of the tent for a second, as if he was actually thanking god for the fact that sex was not definitely on the table. “Let me just-“ Even murmured, kissing down Isak’s body, and Isak’s breath sped up when Even reached the waistband of his boxers. He pulled at it with his teeth, slowly pulling them down, before they snapped back against Isak’s stomach, which made both of them laugh. “Fuck, I pictured this to be hot as hell,” Even grinned, gesturing towards his teeth and Isak’s boxers. “It was,” Isak smiled back, “it is.” He ran his hand through Even’s hair, “But you’re very welcome to just use your hand. We don’t have much time.” “We don’t?” Even asked, following the request and getting Isak out of his boxers with his hands, admiring the view of the younger boy, all spread out and naked and willing and hot. “Fuck, Even, I’m seriously about to come just from looking at you,” Isak admitted, and then the hand in Even’s hair slowly and carefully pushed, just the tiniest bit, and Even was happy to obey. He couldn’t help to kiss the tip of Isak’s dick, because it was just as pretty as the rest of the boy, before moving his tongue over it carefully. Isak moaned, moving his hips a little, so that Even pushed them down onto the mattress with one hand, holding him steady, while he started bobbing his head. It really didn’t take much to make Isak come, and even though Even wouldn’t normally let some guy he just met come into his mouth, something made him do it anyway, swallowing all of it, before crawling up to face Isak again, kissing him hungrily. They made out for a while, the taste of their come mixing in their mouths, and it really shouldn’t taste this good. None of this should feel this good.

It didn’t take much time until they were both hard again, their lips swollen and bruised by now, and when Even reached underneath this air mattress to get a small bottle of lube, Isak spread his legs instantly, not looking at Even while he did so. Even made sure to kiss him again, while he coated his first finger in lube, moving it over Isak’s sensitive skin slowly, watching Isak’s mouth fall open at the sensation, enjoying the low moan spilling from Isak’s beautiful lips when he pushed his finger in.

It amazed Even to see Isak like this. The younger boy had pretty much been in control throughout the whole evening, teasing Even, letting him know exactly what he wanted. And from the moment he laid down onto Even’s mattress, he had been teasing, controlling, pushing, keening for it. Always with a smirk on those gorgeous lips, always with that expression in his eyes that let Even know that Isak knew what he wanted and how to fucking get it. This, though. Now. Isak was a mess. He was a needy, moaning mess. The controlling, teasing gaze was gone, replaced by needy and desperate longing in his eyes. The smirking lips were now loose and soft, hanging open, moaning. The pushing and teasing body language had been submissive and begging from the second Even’s fingers had pushed into him. “Even,” Isak moaned, his hands not pushing, not pulling, just holding on to Even’s back. “Relax, baby,” Even breathed against soft lips, “I got you.” “More, I need more,” Isak instructed, moving his hips a little, tilting his chin up for a kiss. Even bend down a little and kissed Isak, all tongue and teeth, while he pushed his second finger in. “Fuck fuck fuck,” Isak mumbled, and Even stopped right there, kissing down Isak’s neck, “You okay?” “Just- it’s been a while,” Isak admitted, grinding his hips down, trying to adjust. “We don’t have to- I mean, we can- or I could,” Even rambled, suggesting words against wet, hot skin. “It’s fine. It’s good. Want you,” Isak shook his head, then nodded, obviously not sure which was more reassuring. “You sure?” Even repeated, placing the softest kiss on Isak’s lips. “Mh,” Isak kissed him back, “sure.” “Tell me to stop at any point if you- you know,” Even prompted, and Isak nodded, eyes rolling back as Even started moving his fingers again. Isak’s body was more than responsive, and even though Even did have a thing for the way Isak had been grinding and keening before, this, now, was so much more. So much better. “I’ll add a third, that good?” Even asked, lifting his head from where he had sucked a dark purple mark into Isak’s neck. “Yeah,” Isak breathed, reaching for Even’s neck to bring their mouths together again. “I can just finger you,” Even suggested, moving his fingers in and out at a steady pace now, kissing Isak while doing so, “I don’t have to-“ “You have got to be kidding me,” Isak laughed, and Even grinned at him, before kissing him again. His impatience was gone. He kept fingering Isak, amazed at how the younger boy’s mouth fell open when he hit the right spot, and kept fingering him until he was close to coming. “Fuck me already,” Isak begged, his hands pushing against Even’s back now, trying to get him closer.

Even was already rolling on the condom, pressing sloppy kisses to Isak’s knee, “Fuck, yes. Like this okay?” “No, let me just-” Isak panted, turning around and pushing up to his hands and knees. “Fuck, baby, you just keep getting hotter,” Even said, admiring the view again, before lining up and pushing in slowly. “You okay?” he asked, hands moving from Isak’s hips to his sides to his chest to his stomach. “Yeah.” “Still good? You okay? Good? Still okay?” Even asked every few seconds, while slowly pushing into Isak. “Oh my fucking god Even!” Isak moaned, “Just- Keep going, I’m good, I promise.” Isak groaned, pushing back eagerly, trying to make Even push in all the way. “Are you hurting?” Even panted, his leaning forward to stroke Isak’s jaw and his cheek. Isak winced a little at the touch, almost as if it was painful, but still leaned into it, “I’m good. Move. Come on.” “Okay. Fuck.” Even placed his hands on Isak’s hips and started moving with a slow rhythm, going in deeper with every thrust. “Fuck, so good,” Isak groaned, “so good, oh god.” Even just nodded, forgetting that Isak couldn’t see, running his hands over Isak’s body again, who was now moaning at full volume, mostly a mixture between fuck, god and Even’s name. The moans turned into a pained whine when Even pulled out. “The fuck… are you doing?” Isak panted, voice almost trembling. “Sorry, sorry, turn around,” Even said, already pushing and pulling at Isak’s hips. Isak turned over, and Even moaned when he saw Isak’s face, all sweaty and flushed and so stunningly beautiful that Even almost forgot about the unfinished business he had. Until Isak’s legs suddenly moved around his waist, pulling him closer, “Come on,” Isak panted, reaching for Even, pressing a kiss to his lips, “fuck me.” Even couldn’t help but moan, pushing into Isak again, whose eyes rolled back in pleasure. Isak tilted his head up, kissing Even sloppily, breathing hot into his mouth. Even picked up a quicker rhythm, fucking him deep and hard, Isak holding onto him and moaning desperately. Just when Even felt himself getting closer, he reached down to stroke Isak, who just shook his head,

“Let me come like that.” “Oh god, fuck.” They leaned their foreheads together, and Even swallowed when Isak stared up at Even with a more intense look in his eyes than Even had ever seen in his life. It made him weak, the way Isak was staring at him, it made him spineless and it made his whole body light up. He groaned, angling his hips just right and pounding into Isak, until the younger boy clenched around him, moaning low in his throat, coming all over his stomach and chest. Even followed immediately, moaning Isak’s name as he buried himself deep inside him.

They were both still panting, Even’s head leaned against Isak’s shoulder. “Okay, I’m guessing the whole camping area heard us,” Isak said lazily, running his hand through Even’s hair, pulling at it a little and massaging his scalp. “Don’t ever expect me to move,” Even mumbled, his lips against Isak’s shoulder, “ever.” “I expect you to pull the fuck out,” Isak teased, pulling Even’s hair a little, “I’m going to be sore as fuck.” “God, sorry,” Even said alarmed, but Isak chuckled, stroking Even’s cheek, “Don’t worry, it’s all good.” Even pulled out slowly, wincing in sympathy as Isak whimpered a little, tying the condom up and reached to the side to get some tissues. He grinned at Isak as he cleaned him up, before lying back on his back, pulling Isak to his chest, “You’re fucking incredible.” Isak chuckled, snuggling to Even’s chest. “So,” Even said quietly, running a hand through Isak’s hair, “what do you do?” “You mean when I’m not fucking hot guys on festivals?” Isak asked, crossing his arms on Even’s chest, resting his chin against the back of his hands, looking up at Even with a grin. Even moved his fingers lightly over Isak’s back, “Yeah. Like, where are you from?” “Oslo.” “Really?” “Yeah. Why? You, too?” Isak asked. “Yeah. I’m attending UiO, media studies.”

Isak flinched, “Media studies?!” Even laughed, “What’s wrong with that?” “Nothing. Just… isn’t that what everybody studies when they don’t really know what else to do?” Even frowned, “Huh? When you don’t know what to do, don’t you study something like ‘International Business’ or some shit?” “True,” Isak admitted, snuggling against Even’s chest again. “So what do you do, then? Are you in university?” “Mhm.” “Doing what?” “I’m a med-student.” “Really?” Even asked, obviously impressed. “Mhm.” “So you’re going to be a doctor?” “Cardiologist, actually.” “Oho.” “Yeah,” Isak yarned, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here, honestly, I have this huge exam in like a week. I have a study partner, and I’m going to annoy the shit out of her when I get back and I’m way behind on basically everything.” “If you’re half as good at med-stuff as you are at giving blowjobs, something tells me you’re going to do just fine,” Even told him, playing with Isak’s curls. Isak laughed, and Even decided that out of all the beautiful music he had heard today, this sound was his all-time favorite. They talked a little more, about Isak’s upcoming exam and about Even’s projects that he had to hand in in a few weeks, but Isak became heavier and heavier on Even’s chest, yarning through most of their conversation, until he mumbled something that sounded a little like ‘good night’. Even smiled as Isak’s breathing slowly evened out, and pulled him a little closer to his chest. It should scare him, how good all of this felt, because that was not how one night stands at festivals worked, but as he breathed in Isak’s scent, his hand still in Isak’s silky curls, he couldn’t help but feel like this was pure perfection.

--

When Even woke up, Isak was still sleeping on his chest, his curls the most beautiful mess that Even had ever seen. He still smelled incredible, which, okay, wasn’t really possible, and even now, sober and with a clear mind, Even still felt like this was perfect. He watched Isak sleep for another hour, until the boy started to shift a little, blinking his eyes open slowly. “Hey,” Even whispered, and Isak mumbled something, hiding his face against Even’s chest. He waited for Isak to fully wake up, before he dared to run his hand through his hair, “Do you want breakfast?” “Breakfast? You’re spoiling me, baby,” Isak mumbled. “I can get us coffee and something to eat,” Even offered, and Isak nodded, smiling happily. Even got up, quickly threw on some fresh boxers, his jeans and a shirt, and got up to get Isak breakfast.

They sat under the pavilion with their coffees and their croissants a little later. The camp was still quiet, nobody was up yet, since it was still pretty early. “I should probably go back to my camp,” Isak said when he finished his coffee, stretching in his chair. Even couldn’t help but stare at him a little, before he cleared his throat, “Maybe, I mean, we could meet up, tonight, or you could come back later? We thought about having a barbeque later. You can bring your friends, if you want.” He hoped the guys wouldn’t be too mad, even though their amount of food was pretty carefully calculated. But generally they were really supportive of each other’s sex lives, so Even wasn’t too concerned. “That’d be great.” “Yeah?” Even asked, happily. “Yeah,” Isak smiled as he got up, leaning down to kiss Even. He tasted delicious, like coffee and chocolate croissant, and Even couldn’t help but move his hands over Isak’s body, cupping his cheek as he pulled him down a little, licking into his mouth. They lost each other in the kiss, sighing deeply into it, teasing each other before giving in again, until Isak finally pulled back, giving Even a smile, “I’ll just let my friends know I’m alive and get some fresh clothes and then I’ll be back in a couple of hours, okay?” “I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” Isak smiled, pecking Even’s lips again, and then again, before he pulled away again and walked off. Even stared at his perfect ass as he walked away, sighing happily.

--

He was still sitting in his chair an hour later, enjoying the mild morning sun on his skin, as Elias crawled out of his tent, looking so destroyed that Even almost laughed. “You’re up early,” Elias yarned when he joined Even under the pavilion. “Just had breakfast,” Even smiled, stretching. “Mh. Did you hook up with someone last night?” Elias asked, nodding towards the two empty cups of coffee sitting on the desk. “Sort of,” Even said, and he wished he could be a little less obvious, smiling a little less widely, but it just wasn’t possible. “Ooooooh,” Elias said, punching Even’s shoulder, “nice, bro. Who with?” Even sighed, shrugging, “Just a guy I met last night after the show. He’s super hot, and I’m telling you, it was the best sex I ever had. Like, ever.” “Wow,” Elias nodded, impressed, while reaching for a beer. For some reason, at festivals, beer lost its evening drink vibe. Everybody was kind of starting, continuing and ending their day with beer, so Even didn’t find it weird anymore that Elias opened a can of beer at about 11 in the morning. “Yeah, I’m so fucking gone for him,” Even admitted, rubbing a hand over his chest. “Dude, you’re falling for your hook-up from last night?” Elias asked, raising an eyebrow, “don’t you think-“ “Good morning!” Yousef and Adam said, as they joined Even and Elias. “Morning. Where are Mikael and Mutta?” Elias asked. “Probably still shitfaced drunk,” Adam said, “they were partying until like seven in the morning. I don’t think we’ll see them before the break of dawn.” “Lovely,” Elias commented and offered the two of them beer. “What happened to you after the show last night?” Yousef asked Even, “we were looking for you at the after party, but we couldn’t find you.”

“He had the best sex of his life last night,” Elias announced, and the guys instantly started catcalling. “What? Really? Was she hot?” Adam asked. “He, actually, and yes, so fucking hot. And so fucking cute. And charming. And we were talking a lot and he was so great,” Even rambled, and Elias rolled his eyes, “He’s kind of in love.” “With a one night stand? Even! Come on, dude. You won’t see that guy ever again. He probably lives like a thousand miles away from you.” “He’s from Oslo,” Even said, as if that made his weird crush any less inappropriate. “So where is that mystery dude that fucked you so good you’re walking around with heart-eyes?” Adam asked, grinning. “He’s just heading back to his camp for a few hours, letting his friends know he’s good. He’ll be back later,” Even smiled, not trying to hide his, in Adam’s words, heart-eyes. “Wow, that guy really got to you, huh? What exactly did he do to you that made you this smitten?” Yousef asked. “I heard that guys are way better at giving blow jobs than girls,” Elias said, looking at Even for confirmation. “I don’t know about that, but Isak was pretty damn good at it,” Even grinned, winking at Elias. “Hold on. Isak? Isak Valtersen?” Elias repeated. “I don’t know his last name,” Even said, a little confused. “Tall? Blond curls?” Yousef jumped in, seeming concerned. “Um. Yeah,” Even shook his head, “what, do you know him?” “I think he has classes with Sana,” Yousef said, and Elias nodded along, still looking a little concerned. “Um. Yeah. He mentioned being in med-school,” Even said, still confused, “so?” “Nothing, just- I heard, that this is sort of his thing,” Elias said, wincing a little. “What is?” “Hooking up with guys at festivals,” Adam said, shrugging. “Sana told me that he normally doesn’t even bring a tent or anything to festivals, he just hooks up with a different guy every night, you know, and then disappears,” Yousef added. Even frowned, “That doesn’t make any sense, though, why would he tell me where he’s from and stuff like that? Why would he have sex with me? If he just needed a place to crash, he could have just asked, right?”

“I don’t think he needs a place to crash, he just enjoys the challenge, or whatever,” Yousef guessed, “you’re not bad to look at, maybe he was just hot for you.” “Yeah but-“ Even frowned, looking over his shoulder in the direction Isak had disappeared to, the disappointment slowly overshadowing the joy, “Fuck, he’s not going to be back in an hour, is he?” Elias winced in sympathy, handing Even a beer as consolation, “Sorry, bro.”

Can you feel the love tonight? Chapter Notes

I reeeeeeally should be studying... Fuck. But anyway, here is the next chapter! I'm really interested what you'll think, because I felt like half of you really loved how confident Isak was in the last chapter, and the other half was just mad at him for his behavior - so I'm interested in what you think about this one! This chapter contains a discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Please be aware of that and remember that people do care if one more light goes out ♡ ALT ER LOVE ♡ BE KIND

“I can’t believe he didn’t come back!” Yousef shrugged, playing with an empty beer can in his hand, “Maybe he just forgot? Or like, he didn’t find the way back? It’s a pretty big camp.” Even rolled his eyes, “He doesn’t have amnesia and he’s not five. He didn’t come back because he’s an asshole!” “Come on, he didn’t do anything wrong. You guys had a one night stand, no strings attached. Maybe that’s all it was to him and now he’s done with it. Honestly, you can’t really judge him for that,” Elias tried to reason, leaning forward in his camping chair to poke around in the fire of their grill, rearranging the coal. “He did tell me he’d come back, though. That’s lying, and I think I have a right to be pissed at him for that!” Even argued, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Maybe it was like saying ‘I’ll call you back’ when both actually know that’s not going to happen. You fucked him in a tent, while you were both drunk, during a festival. It probably just didn’t mean anything,” Elias said. “Well, maybe not to him.” “Yeah, but is it really his fault that it meant more to you than it did to him?” Yousef asked, running a hand through his hair. Even took a deep breath, “I don’t know.”

“Don’t tell me you never ever ‘accidentally’ stopped texting someone who you were not really that into after a one night stand,” Elias said, pointing his finger at Even. “Whatever. I didn’t lie to anyone, though,” Even argued, sighing again. “Okay, you know what, just forget about that guy. Whatever his deal is, it’s not worth ruining your weekend over. Okay? Let’s have some fun, Bech Næsheim,” Elias decided, handing Even a beer, “and forget about that Isak guy.”

--

It wouldn’t work. Whatever Even did, he couldn’t get Isak out of his head. He knew that he was probably acting really pathetic, and he knew that this wasn’t the most outrages behavior after a one night stand, and any other day, any other person, it wouldn’t have bothered him. But it did now. It did because it was Isak. Even really tried to enjoy it. He tried to enjoy all the stuff that he loved about festivals. The people, the happiness, the music and the positive atmosphere, but he couldn’t.

Fucking Isak. He should not be able to ruin Even’s festival experience. He was just a hook up, no more and no less, and he should not be able to have this kind of power over Even. Not at fucking all. Not when all this was to him was a fucking challenge or whatever, a bet with himself to see how many stupid guys he could trick into buying him food and beer and letting him sleep in their tents just by fucking them. But Even couldn’t stop thinking about him. His laugh, his grin, his soft lips, the way his mouth had fallen open, his moans, his soft and demanding touches. He had looked Even in the eye when they came in synch, mouthing his name. Did people do that when they were just in it for one night?

--

His friends tried to distract him. They went to see all the bands that Even loved, they got him beer and food and Yousef tried his best to hook him up with other hot girls or guys, using the ‘Haaaave you met Even?’ line, which worked surprisingly well, but after talking to them for a few minutes, Even got bored, because he couldn’t stop thinking about Isak. He realized he didn’t want to sleep with somebody else just to forget about him, what he really wanted were answers, he wanted to know why Isak had acted the way he did. “You’re not going to find that guy in this crowd,” Elias said, rolling his eyes, as he caught Even getting on his tip toes and searching for him again.

“I’m not looking for him,” Even lied, trying to focus on the band that was playing. He had no idea which one it was. “There are like 80,000 people here, Even,” Elias said, shaking his head, “just forget about that dude.” Even just shrugged, “I’m going to get a beer.” “Good. Get good and drunk and then we’ll find you somebody who sucks dick much better than that Isak guy,” Elias decided, patting Even’s shoulder. Even wanted to tell him that it was highly unlikely that such a person existed, but instead he just rolled his eyes, pushing through the crowd and towards the bar.

--

Even’s whole body felt like it was lit up when he saw him. Isak. He was wearing the same jeans and chucks as yesterday, but a white shirt, with some sort of band logo on it that Even didn’t know. He was wearing his snapback again, and he was smiling suggestively at a guy with dark hair. Which was bad enough, but what made it even worse was that Even could still see the dark marks on Isak’s neck. Obviously Isak’s tactic was working, because the guy handed him a cup of beer, and was placing a hand on Isak’s hip, stroking him in the same goddamn place Even’s fingers had touched not even 24 hours ago. And Even kind of lost it. He knew that Isak didn’t owe him anything, he knew that he was being immature and pathetic and jealous and out of line. He just didn’t care. He took a deep breath and walked over to the two of them, putting an arm around Isak’s waist, kissing his cheek, “Hei Baby.” Isak stared at him in disbelief, so did the dark-haired guy. He was hot, Even had to admit that, Isak had good taste when he was scouting for his one night stands. “Um,” the guy said, confused, “we were kind of in the middle of something.” “Yeah, I saw that,” Even said, a little pissed now, “but Isak here is kind of taken, you know. Right, boyfriend?” Even asked, kissing Isak’s cheek one more time. “He’s just-“ Isak started, trying to get out of Even’s hug, when the dark haired guy interrupted him, “Didn’t you say your name was David?” Isak’s mouth fell open and he gave Even a particularly pissed look,

“It is. Don’t listen to him, he’s just- he- we were,” he rambled, still trying to get out of Even’s arms, when the other guy rolled his eyes, “Whatever he is, I’m not looking for high school drama.” “Hey, come on, don’t-“ Isak tried again, but the guy had already walked off. Isak finally got out of Even’s hug and pushed him a little, “Thanks for that, asshole.” “You’re calling me asshole?!” “Yeah, kind of just did.” “Wow. You’re really something, you know that. My friends know you. I know you only slept with me because- well, I know that hooking up with guys is, I don’t know, your thing or whatever!” “So?” Isak asked, frowning. “So?!” “Oh, come on, Even. What did you think, that fucking all night in your tent was the story we would tell our grandchildren? Are you kidding me?!” Isak asked, rolling his eyes. “I just thought-“ They were interrupted by people who were talking loudly while pushing through them towards the bar. Even rolled his eyes and took Isak’s wrist, pulling him away from the bar and towards the fence, where it was a little quieter. “I just don’t get you,” Even said, “what’s your deal? You could have just told me that you needed a place to sleep, you know. I would have let you sleep in my tent, no problem.” “What exactly did you hear about me?” Isak asked, looking confused now. “I- apparently, you’re in class with the girlfriend of one of my friends,” Even explained, and Isak rolled his eyes, “Wow, stalk me much?” “No, I just- I told them about, you know, us hooking up, and he sort of told me that this is your thing, you know, sleeping in a different tent every night, because you don’t have one and hooking up with a different guy every night because- because-“ “Okay, Even,” Isak interrupted him, looking serious now, “I’m not desperately looking for a place to sleep. I have friends and they have a camp and plenty of tents to let me crash. I didn’t sleep with you to have a place to sleep or whatever.” “Then why did you?” “Because you’re really hot and I was really horny,” Isak shrugged, “I do that at festivals, so what. I’m very busy at home, with university and I also have a job, so I don’t have a lot of time for

Tinder or Grindr or whatever, and when I’m here, I just kind of- I just hook up a lot.” Isak waited for a few seconds, before he raised his eyebrows, an ironic grin on his face, “You’re not seriously judging me for sleeping around on a few weekends a year? Do I need to remind you that your pants dropped pretty quickly last night when you got me into your tent? Stop acting all innocent.” “I’m not- I get that this seems weird, coming from me. I just felt like- I just didn’t-“ “It didn’t mean anything, Even. It was just sex. And I’m sorry if you thought it was more than that, but come on. Quick, dirty tent sex? Which part of you thought this was romantic?” Even was quiet for a moment, before he looked at Isak, “We weren’t that quick.” Isak chuckled, before winking at Even, “Yeah, guess we weren’t. I’m still sore, thanks for that.” “Sorry.” “Don’t be.” “I guess I’m just confused because we talked for like two hours, before anything happened… and we had breakfast this morning and you said- you could have just told me it was a one-time thing. Right? Why did you promise me to come back?” “I-“ Isak shrugged and took a deep breath, looking a little lost for a moment, before gesturing with his beer cup, “I thought it was clear. Like, I thought we were on the same page. I didn’t think about clearing up that I wouldn’t come back or that we weren’t doing anything more than just fucking, because I thought it was obvious for both of us. You know.” “Mh.” “Yeah.” “But why did we talk for so long, when-“ “Oh my fucking god, Even!” Isak hissed, rolling his eyes, “you’re so fucking annoying.” “I just don’t get it.” “I don’t know how it works in your world, but you can actually be nice to a one night stand and talk to them and have a good time. Just because sex doesn’t mean anything and there aren’t any feelings involved, you don’t have to fuck each other without saying a word. You’re a nice person and we had stuff to talk about. Simple as that. I talk to a lot of people here, don’t you? I really don’t get what your problem is. We had a good time and then we had good sex, and that’s it. Is that so hard to understand?” “I-“ Even shrugged, “I don’t know.” “Okay. Whatever, let me just buy you a beer, as a sort of an apology, even though we both know I didn’t do anything wrong, and then just put this behind us, okay? Since you scared away the hot

guy I was talking to, I don’t have anywhere to be, so…” “Do you really think he was hot?” Even asked, nudging Isak’s shoulder with his own. Isak laughed, “Yeah, very hot.” “Hotter than me?” “Mhh,” Isak hummed, unclear whether he was declining or confirming it, while pulling Even towards the bar again, finishing his beer on the way.

--

Isak got them beer and they got off of the concert field and sat down on a bench a little bit down the street. “So who’s the girl that told you all that stuff about me?” Isak asked, taking a sip. Even had thought that the boy would leave after they had gotten their beer, but apparently Isak had accepted that looking for somebody to hook up with seemed like a lost cause by now, and Even liked the fact that no other guy would touch him, at least not tonight. “She didn’t actually tell me anything about you,” Even tried to do some damage control, “a couple of my friends sort of know you through her or whatever.” “Oh. So who?” “Sana.” Despite Even’s assumptions, Isak didn’t frown, instead there was a warm and loving smile on his lips all of a sudden, “Oh?” “Yeah. She’s dating one of my best friends, Yousef. And her brother, Elias, is kind of my best friend, and he heard some stuff about you, too.” “Wow,” Isak said, “small world, huh?” “Yeah. Hey, I’m sorry for scaring your guy away,” Even apologized, “I shouldn’t have done that.” “No, you shouldn’t have,” Isak agreed, “but I shouldn’t have told you I’d come back when I wasn’t, so.” They stayed on the bench, slowly drinking their beer in silence.

--

“I don’t sleep with the same guy twice,” Isak said after some time, breaking the silence. “How come?” “Because I don’t like relationships.” “Oh, that’s such a cliché thing to say,” Even said, grinning and rolling his eyes at the same time. Isak stretched out his legs, crossing them at his ankles, “Call it whatever you want. But I’m tired of that crap fucking up my life.” “What happened?” Even asked softly, taking a sip of his beer. “Why do you assume something happened?” Isak asked, a little defensive. “Come on. We all grow up with some sort of Simba and Nala Can you feel the love tonight idea in our heads. Something must have happened to wreck that for you.” “Really? Out of all the movies you watched as a child, The Lion King is the one that influenced your view on love?” Isak teased, bumping his shoulder against Even’s. “It’s an awesome movie,” Even said, looking at Isak with a fond smile, that made the younger boy give up eventually. Isak took a deep breath, “The first time I fell for a guy, it was my best friend. Obviously nothing ever happened, in fact he doesn’t even know about it. And because I knew nothing would happen, I hooked up with another guy instead. First I didn’t really have feelings for him, I was just horny and just wanted to get it out of my system, but he was kind of sweet about it, so, obviously, I sort of had a Simba and Nala Can you feel the love tonight idea after some time.” “And then he broke your heart?” Even assumed, wondering if it be weird if he took Isak’s hand or would stroke his cheek or something. He didn’t dare, though, not right now. Isak chuckled, although he didn’t sound amused, “No. We were really hot for each other, and we just had a lot of sex, but we weren’t good at relationships. He wasn’t good at being faithful and I wasn’t good at being honest, and we just didn’t fit. But whatever it was between us, we both couldn’t let it go, either, so we just were super dysfunctional and unhappy with each other for a while.” “What do you mean, you weren’t honest?” “I just kept a lot of shit from him. I never told him how I felt, or what I was going through, and I was still mad at him when he didn’t get it,” Isak explained, taking another sip of his beer. “What were you going through?” Even asked quietly. Isak looked at him, raising an eyebrow, “What is this, some sort of therapy session?” “I just- Forget it, I shouldn’t have asked,” Even said quickly, shaking his head. Isak seemed to consider, but eventually said nothing and they continued sipping their beer.

“Okay, so you decided that love is not an option anymore after one relationship that didn’t work?” Even asked, frowning. “I never said that love is not an option. I just said that I’m not a fan of relationships. And it’s not like I don’t want a relationship, ever, I just don’t want it right now. I’ve been with Chris for quite some time, and I just don’t feel like it. I want to concentrate on university, you know. But I’m only human and when I get time off, like right now, or when I’m on vacation, I like to have sex with random guys sometimes.” “But you also said that you don’t sleep with the same guy twice. If you’re open for love and open for sex and fun, why don’t you do that?” “Because it always leads to fucked up shit. Somebody always wants more or sees things that aren’t there. I don’t think friends with benefits can work, somebody always end up getting hurt. And I don’t want to get hurt. And I don’t want to hurt anybody either. I just want to have a little fun now and then.” “Friends with benefits can work!” “Even if they can, I don’t want shit like that when I’m here. Festivals are like a parallel universe, you know. Where people are happy and chill and you don’t get to worry about shit that’s going on at home. I don’t want any drama. I just want music and beer and good sex.” “Fair enough.” They both took a sip of their beer, remaining silent. Not that it actually was silent, anywhere, really. There were people singing and shouting all over the camping area, listening to so many different songs and beats that all that Even could hear right now was a drunken mixture of all those noises. Sitting next to Isak, he still felt like it was all silent around them, somehow. “I’ve never been with a guy, you know.” “Huh?” Isak looked up from the beer he had been staring at. “I’ve never been with a guy.” “Wow. Really?” Isak asked, raising his eyebrows, “Respect man. Finding the prostate at your first try, that’s pretty good.” Even laughed, “No, no, I’ve had sex with other guys, I just never had a relationship with a guy.” “Oh,” Isak said, and Even could swear he saw the younger boy blush. “So, you’re impressed with my prostate skills?” Even teased, bumping their shoulders together. “There’s no reason to deny that you gave me some pretty hot action last night,” Isak grinned at him, “you’re ranking on one, you know.” “Oh, really? I’m the best sex you ever had?!” Even cheered. “Tssss, don’t flatter yourself. Number one during this festival.” “Ouch.”

“So, why did you never date another guy? Did you date girls?” Isak asked, emptying his beer. “Yeah, I had a girlfriend for a really long time, and I’ve sort of been picturing it, you know, having a relationship with a guy. But it never really happened.” “Why do you think that is?” “I’m not the easiest person to be with.” “Oh come on. Self-pity? Really? You’ve looked in a mirror at some point in your life, right?” “Not everything is as simple as it seems sometimes,” Even said, a little more quiet. “No, of course. But if you say you’re not easy to deal with, how come your girlfriend didn’t mind that?” Isak asked. “I, um. I have a mental disorder, and she was already my girlfriend when I was diagnosed. So she knew from the beginning, and we dealt with it together, you know. But I don’t like to tell other people about it and whenever it was getting a little more serious with a guy, or anybody, really, I was always super fucking scared to tell them.” “Yeah, but people who can’t deal with something like that… you don’t want those in your life anyways,” Isak said, shrugging. “You think?” “I mean, I don’t really know, but I don’t think that a mental disorder is something to break up over.” “You don’t know how hard it can be.” “Oh, trust me, I know. Can I ask what you have? You don’t have to tell me.” “Bipolar disorder.” Even watched Isak carefully, who put his empty cup down next to the bench, “Okay. I mean, that’s probably not easy to handle, but I read that you can do some stuff with medication that keeps you more stable, right? Lithium?” “Wow, I knew you were a med-student, but I didn’t know you were a nerd.” “Same difference,” Isak joked, and Even chuckled a little, “I actually take meds, and they seem to help, but I still have episodes from time to time and that’s just, you know, really hard. On people around me.” “So? Relationships aren’t supposed to be easy, they’re supposed to be… facing shit like that together.” “Says the guy who doesn’t want to have one,” Even teased, grinning at Isak. Isak didn’t grin back, he just looked Even in the eye for a while, before smiling at him, “There are a million reasons why I don’t want to have a relationship. But you being bipolar would never be one of them.”

Even swallowed at that, clearing his throat before smiling back at Isak, “Thanks.” They both fell silent again, until Isak started to lean against Even a little, just the slightest bit, and Even leaned his head against Isak’s in response. “Can I ask you one last question?” he asked, moving his cheek against Isak’s hair. “Mh,” Isak hummed. “You didn’t tell that guy from before your real name, right?” “Mh.” “Why did you tell me, then?” Isak didn’t say anything for a few moments, before he shrugged, “Why did you tell me about you being bipolar?” he asked quietly, head still leaned against Even’s shoulder. Even just let out a long breath, leaning his head a little more against Isak’s, not saying anything. “Do we really need to find a reason for it?” Isak asked quietly. “No.” “Good.”

--

“You said me being bipolar wouldn’t be the reason you wouldn’t be with me,” Even said, playing with Isak’s curls a little. His snapback was lying on the bench next to them. “Huh?” “You said there are many reasons why you wouldn’t want a relationship, but me being bipolar isn’t one of them,” Even repeated. “Yeah, because I don’t care about shit like that. What’s your point?” “You said me being bipolar. As in, me and you.” “Oh. I meant, like- I meant, the other potential person being mentally ill wouldn’t matter,” Isak said, looking down. “Oh, I think you meant me,” Even teased. “Don’t flatter yourself. You and I would never ever work.”

“Why would you say that?” “Because you’re super creative and study something with movies and shit.” Even chuckled, “So?” “I’m not like that. I like to watch things that would probably make you cringe.” “Like?” “Transformers.” “Oh God.” “And I really like Fast and Furious.” “Isak!” “Like, all parts.” “Jesus.” “And I loved 21 Jump Street.” “I think I’m going to be sick.” Isak laughed, “See?” “Okay, you have terrible taste in movies, that’s true,” Even admitted. “What’s your favorite movie, then?” “Romeo and Juliet.” “Oh god, really?” “What?” “Dude, you had me thinking you were this pretentious movie nerd. I expected something like… I don’t know, A few good men, or The Godfather, or The silence of the lambs or… what?” “You do know good movies!” Even smirked, bumping his shoulder against Isak’s. “I just- I mean- obviously, you don’t. Romeo and Juliet, my god.” “It’s a really beautiful love story.” “No, it’s not. Think about it, she’s what, thirteen when they meet? They’re just two stupid teenagers who killed themselves without any reason whatsoever.” “But it’s so romantic-“ “Trust me, Even, there’s nothing romantic about suicide. It’s not tragic or beautiful, it’s really awful and hard and it sucks that movies like that suggest to teenagers that dying is a way of

proving to your partner that you love them. That whole ‘I would die for you’ nonsense is bullshit, it’s unhealthy and dysfunctional and it’s definitely not romantic.” Isak took a deep breath, and Even said nothing. They sat next to each other for a few minutes, and for some reason, it didn’t feel weird. “I- I actually,” Even mumbled, looking up to the sky, “I tried it. Once.” Isak looked at him, “Fuck, I’m so sorry.” “I- I had a depressive episode and it was so bad and I felt like it was the only choice I had.” “My mom’s schizophrenic. She tried it, too. A couple of times, actually.” “Oh.” Isak cleared his throat, and Even felt his hand on his back, patting him slowly, and he leaned into the warmth of Isak’s hand. “I didn’t mean to- all I’m saying is that I feel like suicide shouldn’t be shown as a romantic gesture. Because romantic gestures, you plan them, you decide to do them for somebody. And I feel like when you’re in so much pain that you would actually try to end your life, you’re not deciding anything anymore. Because you feel like…” Isak shrugged, leaning against Even a little more. “Like there’s just no other way,” Even suggested, and Isak nodded silently. They stayed silent for another few minutes, Isak finished his beer and sat the cup down, looking up to the stars again. A particularly dirty song was sung by some drunk people on the camping area and Isak chuckled quietly against Even’s shoulder. “I don’t know why I told you that,” Even mumbled. “Don’t overthink it. What happens at a Festival stays at a Festival,” Isak grinned, moving his hand up a little to play with the hair at the nape of Even’s neck. “Oh god, you did not just say that!” “What?” “Such a cliché line,” Even rolled his eyes. They changed the subject and talked about music instead, and then about series, about the red wedding in Game of Thrones and the logical mistakes in Lost. They talked about food and sneakers and University and tattoos. They talked about absolutely everything, and they somehow moved closer to each other during.

--

“I personally just don’t get why they had to force Sheldon into a sexual relationship. I mean, he is clearly so uncomfortable with anything that’s sexual, was it really necessary to push him into that?” Even asked, his fingers painting fine lines on Isak’s shoulder. Isak moved a little from where he was snuggled against Even’s chest, “But when they did have sex, wasn’t the storyline that he enjoyed it?” “Yeah, it was, but that sort of sends the message that everybody enjoys sex, you just have to force them into it and then they’ll see how good it is. Which is just wrong. Don’t get me wrong, sex is awesome, but I think it’s important to show that just because it’s awesome to you, it doesn’t mean that it’s awesome to everybody.” Isak nodded, “I didn’t like the whole Amy storyline anyway.” “No, me neither. It would have been a good chance to show the audience that you can be completely happy if you have something you love – in that case, science, and that not everybody is in desperate need of social contact and relationships.”

--

“Don’t you think it’s insane that Nike invested all of their sponsoring money into one person? Imagine if the whole Jumpman and Nike Air stuff wouldn’t have been a success,” Isak said, looking down at Even, who had his head propped in Isak’s lap. “I heard that Michael Jordan makes more money with his Nike deal in one year than he made playing basketball his whole life,” Even nodded. “It’s insane. And just think how many brands must have done the same and it didn’t work out,” Isak continued, “guess they were really lucky.” “Or they just had the right marketing strategy,” Even argued, looking up to Isak, who frowned, “I think it’s luck. Stuff like that is always a coincident. Think about facebook. The idea was super old, not original at all, and there were like ten or twenty social networks already put up. For some reason, out of those twenty networks, one just made it. I don’t think that has anything to do with right decisions. You just get lucky or, you know, you don’t.” “You’re so cynical,” Even grinned, snuggling his head against Isak’s thigh. “It’s called being realistic,” Isak answered, brushing some hair off Even’s forehead.

--

“I would really like to change how media represents mental illness,” Even sighed, looking at Isak,

who had his legs thrown over Even’s lap. “What do you mean?” “Everything just always looks so bad. Psychological clinics for example. They always show patients wondering around old, abandoned houses in their night gown, barefoot, they are forced to take weird medication, shit like that. Did you watch Pretty Little Liars?” Isak laughed, “No. I have this thing called a y chromosome.” “That’s sexist,” Even grinned, patting Isak’s knee. “I get what you’re saying though. Clinics like that always look like they’re straight out of ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’. When I first visited my mom in the clinic, I was like, wow, everybody looks super normal, it’s bright and colorful, it’s super nice here.” Even gave Isak’s thigh a short squeeze, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest? You impress me, Isak.” Isak chuckled, “Maybe I’m the movie expert after all.” “I don’t think so. But yeah, I remember being at a therapists office the first time. It was just a normal room, you know. No couch to lay down on or that shit that you always see. No mind games, no weird shit, just somebody who you could talk to. It took me hours to realize that nothing else was going to happen, you know, that there were no tricks or something.” “Yeah, you’re right, if media portrayed it like that, nobody would have to be so scared of it,” Isak agreed, smiling at Even.

--

“You can’t really say that, though. He made good songs after The Eminem Show,” Isak argued. “Yeah, I mean, he’ll always be awesome at rapping, I know, but he sort of always complained about pop music being all the same themes all the time, and then he goes and makes, what, ten albums about his drama with his mom and his daughter,” Even rolled his eyes, moving his hand through Isak’s hair again. He was sitting on the backrest of the bench, Isak was sitting between his legs, leaning his head against Even’s leg. “Nah, that’s not a valid argument at all,” Isak shook his head, and Even smiled at how his curls slid through his fingers when he did so. “No, but you know what I mean, there are themes that just repeat themselves,” Even tried again. “Yeah, but there always are. Like, try to find music that actually is about a super new and original theme. You can’t. And at least his lyrics are original and he writes them himself. Not afraid, for

example, that was way after The Eminem Show, you can’t say that wasn’t an awesome song.” “Yeah, but-“ “Love the way you lie.” “Yes, but-“ “No Love.” “Okay, yes, but can you seriously say that any of them are as good as, I don’t know, Stan?” Isak stayed quiet for a second, and Even tugged on his hair a little, making Isak look up to him. Even smiled when he did, nudging Isak’s nose with his index finger, “I rest my case.”

--

They talked until the sun came up, and even then they didn’t stop. Even was leaning against Isak’s shoulder, and talked about the different medication he had to try for years before he found something that worked, and Isak talked about his usual key words when he was looking for porn on the internet. The music from the camping area was getting louder, obviously people were slowly waking up, just as Isak was lying on his side, his face against Even’s thigh, and told Even about how he came out to his friends and then his parents, and Even told Isak about how hard it was to realize that he wasn’t straight or gay or bisexual, but something else, and how weird it was to explain it to people sometimes. They talked about Isak’s usual order at subway and about their 18th birthdays and what they did and how exciting it had been to buy beer. Even told Isak all about his parents, and Isak told Even about his family, his mother, who was too sick to take care of him, his dad, who was too overwhelmed to take care of him, and his little sister, who Isak had tried to take care of. He told him how confused he had been with mental illness and how hard it had been to educate himself on it, because he just resented everything about it for a while. They talked about the moral problems of the world championship in Katar and about the insane amount of money some footballers made with some shady shit, rolled their eyes on the fact that Neymar was now playing in Paris. They talked about Trevor Noah’s book and how funny and awesome he was, and Isak admitted that he was actually on Isak’s magic ‘Celebrities I’d like to fuck’ list. They talked about their favorite YouTube channels and their favorite ice cream and Even told Isak about the fact that Ben and Jerry’s refused to serve two scoops of the same ice cream in one waffle until gay marriage became legal in Australia.

Oddly, there was absolutely no topic that was intimate, absurd, embarrassing or weird enough for them to avoid it.

--

“Fuck, I can’t decide if I’m hungry or tired,” Isak mumbled after sitting in silence for a while, leaning away from Even to stretch. “We can go to my camp. I have food and we can just sleep for a couple of hours,” Even suggested. Much to Even’s surprise, Isak agreed immediately, and they got up, grinning at each other while they stretched and moved awkwardly after sitting way too long, before they walked towards the camping area. Even’s friends were still sleeping, which wasn’t surprising, considering it was around six in the morning – probably, Even had no idea how late it was. Even had some chocolate milk and a couple of croissants and some fruit, everything way too warm from lying in the tent all day, but they were hungry enough not to care. “You want to sleep for a little while?” Even suggested, and Isak nodded, looking really tired. They got out of their jeans and got under Even’s sleeping bag together, using it as a blanket. First they were just lying next to each other, but Isak didn’t say anything when Even moved a little closer, and so Even decided to take a risk as he moved even closer to hug Isak to his chest. He didn’t dare to breathe as he did so. Isak froze in his embrace for a few painfully long moments, before exhaling slowly, relaxing into it, and Even smiled into Isak’s hair, before falling asleep while breathing in Isak’s scent.

--

When Even woke up the next morning, he realized a couple of things. First, for the first time in a long time, he felt relaxed and well rested, Second, he was hopelessly in love with Isak, And third, Isak was gone. Again.

I think we just clicked. Chapter Notes

For beautisometimes ♡ as always Thank you guys for reading, I hope you like the last chapter and the ending of this story - if you want to tell me what you liked (and didn't like) about it, please feel free to leave a comment! Also, you can follow me on Twitter (@skambition). I'm not the most active person there, so following me won't be the greatest experience ever, but I at least try to keep you updated on my writing, or ask your opinions on what to write next or things like that :) Have fun reading ♡ ALT ER LOVE ♡ BE KIND

“…and I know he felt it, too. You don’t spend a whole night talking to somebody just for- for fun, right? I know that he may do that on festivals or whatever, but we didn’t fuck, we just talked, and why would he do that if not because he likes me, too? But then, why would he leave? Because-“ “Even, Even,” Elias said, pinching the bridge of his nose, “calm down, buddy. I’m so fucking hungover, and you’re not making any sense.” “I just don’t get him!” “Yeah, that’s the only thing I understood from your rambling,” Elias grunted, moving around in his camping chair, “tell you what, if you get me some coffee, I’ll listen to your nonsense.” Even just rolled his eyes, getting up to get Elias a cup of coffee from one of the food stands.

--

“Okay, so. You saw Isak yesterday?” Elias said after the first sip. “I- Dude, didn’t you listen to anything I just told you?” “No,” Elias said, completely unimpressed, “what happened, when you saw him?” “I confronted him.”

“Confronted him? About what?” “About, you know, sleeping with me and just leaving.” Elias covered his eyes with his hand, “You’re such a fucking drama queen.” “What? Why?” “Because that’s just like you! If I had a one night stand at a festival, I would be happy if they left in the morning!” “As if you could get somebody to be your one night stand in the first place.” “Oh, very funny,” Elias rolled his eyes, “do you want me to go back to sleep? Because I’ll do it!” Even just took a deep breath and buried his face in his hands. “Okay, Even, stop sulking. Tell me what happened,” Elias said, a little resigned, gesturing for Even to go on. Even told him about how Isak had explained why he had left that morning. He told him about the fact that they talked for what, 8 hours, the whole fucking night. He told him about the fact that Isak had been touching him nonstop while they talked, that they had been hugging each other, leaning against each other. He told him that he had told Isak about being bipolar, that Isak told him very personal things about his family and his life. He told him that they went back to his tent to get something to eat and that they fell asleep cuddling. “Wow,” Elias said slowly when Even finally finished. “I know. I just don’t know what I did wrong, everything was so so good yesterday. We really hit it off. He’s so perfect,” Even said desperately, running his hand through his hair again. “Yes, his flawlessness came up, thank you,” Elias said ironically, taking a deep breath, “I just think you probably scared him.” “Scared him? Scared him how?” “I mean, here he is, telling you that he doesn’t want a relationship and that he doesn’t want any feelings or whatever to fuck up his time here, and you go ahead and fucking cuddle with him?” “But- I mean, it wasn’t just me. I didn’t force him to spend the night talking to me. If he didn’t want that, he could’ve just- you know.” “Well, he probably enjoyed it, and he didn’t think about it. And when he started to think about it this morning, he probably realized that this is exactly what he didn’t want from this weekend,” Elias tried to explain, taking another sip of his coffee. “But-“ “Look, Even, just forget about him. He obviously doesn’t know what he wants and he’s been sending you mixed signals this whole time.” “But if I really scared him off, it’s partly my fault, though,” Even said. Elias rolled his eyes,

“He still could have told you. Just try not to let this ruin your last day here. All you did this whole Festival was related to that guy. Fucking him, pining over him, cuddling him, looking for him… I mean, don’t you think you should try just to have one day of actual fun while we’re here?” “I’ve been having fun,” Even tried, but he knew it sounded weak. “Yes, because apparently that Isak guy is good at sucking dick, I get it. But let’s just forget about him for one day, let’s have fun, enjoy ourselves, and if you’re still hung up on him when we get back, then we’ll deal with it then.” Even nodded slowly. Elias was right. Even didn’t really feel like having fun and forgetting about Isak, but hell, he had no other choice. “Let’s go take a shower, and then we’ll get you good and drunk, okay?” Elias patted Even’s shoulder, and Even nodded, clearing his throat, “Alright. Let’s have fun.”

--

He didn’t have fun. He and Elias went to get a shower, and all he could think about was Isak’s smooth, naked body. They went back to their camp, where the rest of the guys were slowly waking up, and they started a barbecue, had some beer. But all Even could think about was how good the beer had tasted last night, when he told Isak all about himself, and Isak’s hand stroking his hair. A little later they went to the concert area, and Even was drunk enough to forget about Isak for a few minutes, before he pictured him again, laughing and joking about movies, looking serious as he talked about his mom. He got up on his tip toes during every single show they watched, carefully looking around, hoping to spot Isak in the crowd. He went to the beer stand where they first met, but Isak wasn’t there. He didn’t have fun. Not at all.

--

“I really don’t understand what you’re getting so sad about,” Adam told him the next morning, when they were packing up their things. Even had already taken down his tent and was now sitting next to his packed bag, picking apart what looked like an old carton. “Because I don’t get it and I just wish I could talk to him about it,” Even mumbled, running a

hand through his hair, “I know it sounds stupid, but I just really like him.” “Yeah, but I don’t get why you don’t talk to him, then,” Adam shrugged, stuffing a hoodie into his backpack. “I spend the whole day yesterday looking for him,” Even said, rolling his eyes, “there’s no chance I’m going to find him here.” “Yeah, I know,” Adam nodded, then gestured towards Yousef and Mikael, who were trying to pack up their tent, “just get his number, then.” “Huh?” “Yousef said that Sana knew him, right? Just get his number and text him. What’s the big deal?” “Oh my god!”

--

“I don’t get any reception here,” Yousef repeated, and Elias rolled his eyes, because Yousef had been saying that for what felt like the millionth time now. “But did she read it?” “Good god, Even! You probably won’t get any signal here, either, and neither will Isak, so just chill, okay? I’ll get you his number when we get back,” Yousef tried to be patient, while putting their stuff into the car. “I just want him to know that I’m, you know, not mad at him or something,” Even said. “Dude, if I’m right – and I mostly am – then you texting him like ten minutes after the festival ended, basically proposing to him is not the solution,” Elias reminded him, closing the trunk of the car. “I’m not going to propose to him,” Even rolled his eyes, getting into the car. “Just chill for a few days and then text him, and be very laid back and chill,” Mutta suggested. “Yeah, and until then, drive, because I want to get home at some point,” Yousef added.

--

Two days later, Even was sitting in the library, the notes he pretended to read in front of him as he tried to formulate a text to Isak. Elias had told him to wait three days before texting Isak when Even had finally gotten his number from Yousef, and Even had made it through the first 8 hours of that, and now he just couldn’t wait any longer. Hey Isak, I got your number from my friend who’s dating Sana-

Even shook his head, deleting the message. Hey Isak, I hope it’s okay that I’m texting youNope, not the best start either. Hey youOh god no. Halla Isak Okay, so far so good, Even thought, nodding proudly to himself as if he just made a scientific discovery or something. He wrote two words! Bring on the Nobel Prize! Okay, he had to continue this somehow. I hope you got home okay. Oh my god, he was a genius. This was so casual and laid back, he couldn’t even believe how good he was doing. He reread what he had so far, and wondered if he should change the last sentence into a question, but decided against it. Not asking questions was so super laid back and chill. I got your number from Yousef, hope it’s ok. Even took a deep breath. Now all he needed was a super laid back finish, something that said, I’m not completely and ridiculously in love with you at all, I just want to hang out super casually and not have it be a big deal. Even cleared his throat, chewing on his lower lip as he started typing again. If you want to hang out sometime, let me know. Perfect. Even wondered if he should add something funny, something that said, Remember when we both realized that we are soulmates while we were watching the stars and you stroked my hair, but in a casual way, of course. You have to finish telling me about those parallel universes, haha Okay, maybe it wasn’t the coolest ending ever, but Even was quite proud. He deleted the haha and replaced it with a completely laid back smiling emoji. Even reread the whole message a couple of times, his thumb hovering over the sent button, and he jumped when his phone suddenly pinged. He almost dropped it, and froze when he saw the message.

Hey Even, it’s Isak. Got your number from Sana, hope it’s okay. I know I behaved a little weird and I’m sorry. Anyway, just wanted to apologize or whatever. Hope you got home ok.

Even felt like everything had gone completely quiet, before he realized that he forgot to keep breathing. Isak had texted him. He tried really hard not to jump to any conclusions, because this text message did not necessarily mean Let’s get married and buy a dog together, but it was still good that it had been Isak who had texted him. It meant that the whole night they spent together,

or, well, both nights they spend together, had mattered to Isak, at least a little bit. Even took a deep breath before typing a reply. I’m at UiO now if you want to hang out? Maybe that was a little bit too much, though, so Even tried again. Hey, funny, I was just about to text youHey Isak, great to hear from youHey, no need to apologizeHey Isak, maybe we could talk if you feel like it?Hey Isak, no worries, it’s chillEven ran a hand through his hair, jumping when his phone pinged again and he saw that Isak had sent him another message; You’ve been typing for like an hour now, are you really that mad? I’m sorry, okay? Maybe you could let me explain? “Fuck,” Even mumbled to himself, took a deep breath and just started typing, sending it right away, trying not to think about it too much. Hey, no, I’m not mad at you. Just a little confused. I’m happy to hear from you. If you want to explain some stuff, that’d be really great. No pressure, though. Isak replied instantly, I’m at UiO now, can we talk? Even swallowed, his fingers flying over his phone, Sure, meet you at KB in 20 minutes? Isak replied with a thumbs up emoji, and Even ran his hand through his hair, before realizing that he was probably fucking it up by doing so, so he tried to run his hand through it again, trying to smooth it down a little, before giving up with an frustrated groan. He threw on his denim jacket, got his backpack and made his way out of the library.

Even dude I’m meeting Isak in like 10 minutes what should I do

Elias just don’t be an idiot I know that’s hard for you

but at least try

Even thanks that really helped

Elias listen to what he has to say try not to fuck him before you clear up some basic ground rules don’t talk about baz luhrmann

Even okay

Elias he seems to be stupid enough to like you, so just be yourself just slightly cooler and slightly less desperate

Even fuck you and thank you I guess

Elias anytime bro now get that blow job artist!

--

Even considered ordering Isak something to be nice, because of course he remembered Isak’s

favorite drink, but since he was trying to be less desperate, he ordered some tea and a muffin for himself and chose a small table at the window, where he sat down and waited, trying not to watch the door all the time and trying not to bounce his leg all the time. Isak looked so fucking cute when he walked in that Even couldn’t help but smile. He was wearing a black jeans, white sneakers with some gold on them, and a shirt that had a picture of Jesus on it. He had a red snapback placed on his slightly softer looking curls, and was wearing an unzipped, grey hoodie over his shirt. He walked over to Even’s table, putting his backpack down, “I’m just going to get something to drink. I’ll be right back, okay?” Even nodded, and watched as Isak got in line and ordered something – latte macchiato with caramel syrup, as Even remembered. He looked at Even a few times, looking a little nervous, and Even smiled at him. He realized that he probably wasn’t the only one who was nervous, which kind of made him calm down a little. Isak sat down, bouncing his leg, while he stirred his drink, “Halla.” “Halla,” Even answered, trying very hard to sound chill. “Um, I feel like I owe you an explanation for why I took off,” Isak jumped right in, and Even was thankful he didn’t have to sit through some annoying ‘how’s the weather’ small talk. “It’s okay. I just- I think I’m just a little confused,” Even said, congratulating himself on how smooth he was being. “Yeah,” Isak huffed, “join the club.” Even just nodded and waited for Isak to say something. He thought about asking him why he had left that morning, but instead he just started picking his muffin into pieces, not really feeling hungry. “I’m- um- sorry,” Isak started, watching Even carefully, “I shouldn’t have left that morning. Either morning, actually. It wasn’t nice.” Even tilted his head a little, “I’m not mad at you, I guess I just don’t understand why.” “I told you, right, that I don’t really do relationships and stuff,” Isak started, and Even rolled his eyes, “Yeah, but Isak-“ “No, let me finish. I also told you that it’s not like I’m saying that I don’t want to have a relationship ever again, or that I don’t believe in love or whatever. I always figured, you know, that I would meet somebody at some point, maybe become their friend, talk to them, maybe have sex with them or something, you know, bond with them, and then I would realize that I have feelings for them. I always figured that something like that would eventually happen and it’s not like I’m super bad with emotions and feelings or anything.”

Even frowned, not sure where Isak was going with this, but nodded along. “I just-“ Isak took a deep breath, “you scared me.” Fuck. Even hated it when Elias was right. He shrugged, “Yeah, I sort of figured that out. I just don’t really get why.” “Because, that idea I had of someday maybe meeting someone and wanting more? I figured that would take months. With you… it took one night. And it just, it scared me, okay?” Even looked at Isak, who was stirring his drink again, chewing his lower lip, and smiled, “What took only one night?” Isak rolled his eyes, “You know what.” “I want to hear you say it.” “You’re such a weirdo. Don’t you think this is embarrassing enough?” “Say it. Come on. Please?” Isak rolled his eyes dramatically, “God. Everything only took one night. Talking to you, sleeping with you, falling in love with you – it only took one fucking night. And that’s weird, right, because that’s not how it works!” Even stared at him for a few seconds. He had hoped for something like this, but this was still shocking to him. The reason Isak left, the reason for pretty much everything that happened between them hadn’t been because Isak wasn’t interested, it had been because Isak was too interested. It was because he had been fighting with the same way too intense feelings as Even had. And oh my god, hearing Isak admit that made Even’s heart rate speed up like he was running a fucking marathon. He saw how Isak looked at him impatiently, and cleared his throat, “Who says that it doesn’t work like that?” he asked, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t know,” Isak snapped, annoyed, “but you’re not supposed to fall in love with somebody after one night. And it just scared the shit out of me, okay? I figured that you probably don’t feel the same, or that I had been drunk, you know, that my memory was completely clouded or whatever. You know, sex is not supposed to be that good when it’s a one night stand!” Even couldn’t help but laugh a little, and Isak instantly gave him the finger, “Fuck you, I’m trying to be honest here.” “Sorry. I just don’t get why you’re so upset. You like me, I like you. Is that really that bad?” “It’s weird! You knew me, what, a day, and you told me all that super personal stuff about you, and you didn’t even know why!”

“I still don’t know,” Even admitted, shrugging, “I can’t really explain it, either. I guess when we met I sort of felt like we had a natural connection… right away.” Isak looked at him, and then shrugged in silent combine. “But when you liked me so much after that first night, why did you try to hook up with another guy that night?” Even asked, leaning forwards in his chair again, to be closer to Isak, realizing that he could probably never be close enough to that gorgeous boy. “Because I’m excellent at dealing with my feelings and wasn’t trying to suppress anything at all,” Isak said with a tired grin. Even laughed, “I see.” “I shouldn’t have left after that second night, though. You told me so much personal shit and I really loved talking to you. You’re right, it just felt natural. And I loved falling asleep with you. Just- when I woke up, it just scared me. It felt- everything was just so intense, and so fast, and it just freaked me out.” Isak grimaced a little, “I’m sorry. That I didn’t deal with it any better.” Even leaned back and ran a hand through his hair, “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. We talked about pretty heavy and personal shit that night, not just me, but you, too. I’m sorry if you felt overwhelmed by that or whatever.” “It’s not your fault,” Isak said quietly. They stayed quiet for some time, Isak drinking his latte, Even eating his muffin in tiny little bites.

“I never bottom when I have one night stands,” Isak admitted after some time, voice a little lower. “Huh?” “I mean, I told you about my first boyfriend, right? Chris? He was the type of guy who just refused to bottom, like, ever. So I did, and it was so good, but when we broke up, I just- I don’t know, I never trusted anybody with that again. So whenever I was hooking up with guys, at Festivals or just, you know, whatever, I never ever bottom.” “You could have told me that,” Even said softly, running his fingers over Isak’s hand, “I don’t have a problem with bottoming, I could have done it.” “No, no. It’s okay. You offered, and it’s not like I felt obligated to do it or some shit. Something just made me want to do it. That’s just another thing that really scared me. You know, when I got back to my friends that morning and I realized that I haven’t done that in fucking years, and I just couldn’t tell why the fuck I trusted you enough for that. That’s what I mean, that’s why I was scared, because it’s just not normal to feel like that, right?” Even rolled his eyes,

“Baby, fuck normal. We both felt like that. We both feel like that. Can’t we just… enjoy that for now?” Isak took a deep breath, “Okay.” “We don’t have to label it, either. We don’t have to be in a relationship or be friends with benefits or date or whatever. We can take this completely chill. Okay?” “I’m not sure about that, though,” Isak said, flinching a little. Even hesitated. He wasn’t sure how to make this even more comfortable for Isak. “Okay?” Isak smiled at him, “You told me you sort of pictured being with a guy. And I mean, I’m not completely unaffected by the whole Simba and Nala Disney idea,” he licked his lips, “so maybe we should just try it.” “Wow.” “I know it’s way too early, but everything has been, so…” Isak cleared his throat, “do you want to go on a date? Like an actual exclusive relationshippy kind of date?” Even smiled, “I’d love to. What did you have in mind?” “My roommate works until nine, so we could go back to my place?” Isak suggested after checking the time on his phone. Even laughed, “Very Simba and Nala romantic!” “You do know what they did when Can you feel the love tonight was playing, right?” “Ugh, Isak!” “You know what I always wondered about that story, though?” Even took a deep breath, “Do I even want to hear this?” Isak stole a piece of his muffin, “Mufasa is the leader of their peck, right? So, if he’s the only male lion, wouldn’t that mean that Simba and Nala are brother and sister?” “Oh my god.” “What? It doesn’t make any sense otherwise,” Isak argued, grinning at Even. “You’re the absolute worst,” Even pointed out, shaking his head, “I don’t see how we are going

to watch one movie together.” “Maybe we shouldn’t spend our time with watching movies, then.”

--

Even gasped when his back collided with Isak’s apartment door. Isak was already licking into his mouth, holding on to his neck and his hip, pressing their bodies together. Even pushed away from the door, setting his backpack down before struggling to get out of his jacket, while still kissing Isak, heated and desperate. Isak was pulling him towards one of the rooms, and Even pushed his hoodie over Isak’s shoulders when they were inside. He took a brief second to take in the room. It was very minimalistic. A big, unmade bed, striped blankets lying messily on top of it, some memes and pictures on the wall, clothes on the floor, an endless line of huge medicine books all over the desk, the bed, and the floor. “Sorry, I’m not good at being organized,” Isak admitted, pushing some dirty clothes out of the way with his foot before attacking Even’s lips again. “I don’t give a fuck,” Even mumbled against Isak’s lips, pushing him towards the bed. “Oh fuck, finally,” Isak sighed when Even pushed him to lie on the bed and crawled on top of him. Even chuckled against Isak’s ear, “What do you mean finally? You do realize that it’s been, like, five days since we did this, right?” “I meant, finally we can do this in an actual bed,” Isak explained, moving his hands under Even’s shirt. “It does feel like finally,” Even admitted, pressing a lingering kiss to Isak’s lips. Isak couldn’t help but smile, “It does, doesn’t it?” He sighed again when Even put a little more weight on him and kissed him passionately, their tongues sliding against each other, wet and heated and way too good to be true. Even sat up, pulling Isak with him to get him out of his shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor while he pushed Isak up on the bed a little more, knocking the book that had been lying on Isak’s bed on the floor. Isak broke the kiss, “What the fuck! You have to be careful. Do you know how expensive those are?!”

He reached for the book, which had so many post-it notes stuck to different pages that it looked like a bad slapstick joke in a bad movie, and checked it for damage. Apparently it was some anatomy book. “Sorry, sorry,” Even apologized, breathlessly, watching Isak set down the book carefully before lying back, “That’s my favorite anatomy book!” “Oh yeah?” Even grinned, leaning in again, licking Isak’s top lip, tracing his cupid’s bow with his tongue, which made Isak shiver. “Yes,” Isak hissed under his breath, pulling at Even’s shirt. “That means you have more than one anatomy book?” Even asked, sitting up to get rid of his shirt. “I have, like, ten,” Isak said, reaching for Even and moaned when their bare chests touched each other. “Ten anatomy books?” Even breathed, pressing kisses to Isak’s neck, “you must be quite good at anatomy then.” “The master,” Isak panted, moaning quietly when Even started sucking on his neck. “So am I, by the way,” Even mumbled against his skin, licking over the dark mark he had left on Isak’s neck, “I found your prostate at my first try, you know.” Isak laughed, rolling his eyes, “Shut up.” “You were so impressed,” Even teased, playfully biting Isak’s jaw. “I was not.” “You so were,” Even grinned, placing kisses all over Isak’s neck, who sighed, lacing his fingers in Even’s hair. “Was no-ooh fuck”, Isak moaned, when Even started grinding his hips down against Isak’s, creating oh so sweet friction between them. “Fuck, I love it when you’re loud,” Even panted, unbuttoning Isak’s Jeans. “Yeah?” “Are you kidding?” Even pulled his pants down, struggling a little to get the skinny jeans down Isak’s legs, but with a little help it worked. Isak reached for Even’s pants, too, and Even helped him push them off and out of the way. They moaned in synch when Even went to lie down between Isak’s legs, their dicks sliding against each other through the fabric of their boxers. “Your body is so fucking perfect,” Even praised, enjoying how Isak blushed a little, before they crashed their lips against each other again, tongues fighting for dominance without any intend of actually winning.

Isak moaned against Even’s open mouth, as he reached down to push Even’s boxers down“ISAK?!” They both jumped at the sudden loud call. “Fuck,” Isak panted, not moving at all. “Who’s that?” Even asked breathlessly and confused and oh fuck, his dick was still pressed against Isak’s. “My roommate,” Isak said, trying to catch a breath. “ISAK, ARE YOU HOME?!” “Ugh, shit,” Isak rolled his eyes before shouting back, “YEAH, I AM! BUT DON’T COME-“ Of course in the next second the door flew open, and Even looked up to a really nice looking guy, short, blond hair, pretty face, white T-Shirt, whose expression went from shocked to amused, which reminded Even that they were both in their boxers, and Isak’s hands were still lying on his ass. “-in here,” Isak finished his sentence with a sigh. “Oh, hey there,” the guy said, leaning against the doorframe as if he was getting ready to enjoy the show. “Eskild!” Isak said annoyed, pushing Even off of him, pulling his blanket up to cover up their almost naked bodies at least a little bit. As if that would actually help this situation, “you can’t just come in here like that!” “I’m just surprised to see you’re moving on so quickly,” Eskild announced, nodding towards Even, “I’m Eskild, nice to meet you.” “Eskild, get out!” Isak hissed. “And with such a hottie!” Eskild added, gesturing towards Even’s bare chest, “see, baby Jesus, I told you there was somebody way better out there! He’s been crying over that guy he met at the weekend for fucking days now!” Eskild told Even, winking at him. Even smirked, “Oh really?” Eskild rolled his eyes, gesturing dramatically, “Yeah, he kept going on and on and on about how hot that guy was and how he would never find anyone else who could compare to him and how he was super in love with that dude- but hey, kitten, honestly, that Even guy was probably not half as hot as-“ Eskild looked at Even in anticipation, and Even grinned, before laying a hand on his own chest to introduce himself, “Even.” Eskild stared at him, then at Isak, who just groaned and covered his face with his arm.

“Oh that’s- oh. Wow. You must be so very embarrassed right now,” Eskild said to Isak, wincing. “Yes, thank you,” Isak mumbled against his arm. “Well, at least all that pining makes sense now,” Eskild concluded, looking Even up and down. “Eskild! Get out of here!” Isak yelled. “Alright, alright, Jeez. I’ll just grab my stuff and I’ll be out of your way! I’m meeting Noora for a Yoga lesson. Did you ever try doing Yoga, Even, because-“ “Eskild!” “Fine, fine! Have fun!” Eskild yelled, closing the door, “use condoms!” Isak let out a long breath when the door was finally closed again. “Wow. So that’s you roommate,” Even grinned, propping himself up on one elbow, looking down at Isak who was still blushing behind his arm. “Yep, that’s Eskild. He’s very respectful of my personal space,” Isak mumbled. “So you were pining?” Even asked, laughing when Isak groaned and rolled over to hide his face in his pillow. “I was pining over you, too,” Even added, placing kisses on Isak’s shoulder blade. “Yeah?” “My friends forbid me to talk on our way home, because I couldn’t shut up about you,” he admitted, making Isak chuckle, “but they’ll be happy to tell you all about my desperation when they meet you, I’m sure.” Isak turned around again, raising an eyebrow, “So I’ll meet your friends?” “That’s kind of what boyfriends do,” Even told him, pecking his lips. “Oh, so we’re boyfriends now?” Isak asked, grinning. “If you want us to be,” Even answered, leaning down to kiss Isak, deeper and longer this time, slowly pushing his tongue against Isak’s, licking his lips, sighing into his mouth. “Is it weird that I want us to? After, like, a day?” Isak asked against Even’s lips. “No,” Even whispered, stroking Isak’s cheek, “we don’t have to justify any of this. I think we just clicked. And if you felt it as much as I did, then this is exactly what we should be.” Isak smiled, a warm, shy, loving smile, and as Even bend down to kiss that perfect smile, he figured that every kroner he had paid for that overpriced festival ticket had been so incredibly worth it.

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