Inner child imagery - chapters 18 and 28 of ACT Made Simple the extra bits

SAVE OFFLINE

“Inner  Child”  Imagery  Rescripting   (Extra content for chapters 18 & 28 of second edition of ACT Made Simple) Many  models  of  therapy  now  include  exercises  using  ‘inner  child’  imagery  for  various  purposes.   ACT  certainly  has  a  long  tradition  of  such  exercises,  primarily  for  developing  selfi compassion.   (But  like  any  ACT  exercise,  it  can  serve  multiple  purposes,  and  readily  be  adapted  for  values  work   or  selfi asi context  work.  Our  focus  here  is  going  to  be  selfi compassion.)   Typically,  these  exercises  involve  revisiting  a  painful  childhood  memory,  and  imagining  yourself  as   an  adult  going  back  to  comfort  and  soothe  the  child:  to  empathise  with,  validate,  and  support  the   child,  to  help  her  understand  what  was  going  on,  and  to  be  there  in  a  compassionate  way.   Page 3 of this document has  a  script  for  one  version  of  this  type  of  exercise.  This  version  is  taken   from  my  book,  The  Reality  Slap  –  but  there  are  many,  many  variations  on  inner  child  imagery   floating  around  the  ACT  world.  And  as  for  every  exercise  in  this  course  (and  in  any  type  of  ACT   training)  feel  free  to  modify  and  adapt  it  to  suit  your  clients  and  your  way  of  working.   A  few  words  of  caution:   1. Make  sure  your  clients  have  good  grounding/centering/dropping  anchor/expansive awareness  skills  before  doing  this  type  of  imagery  –  so  that  if  the  exercise  triggers  some deep  emotional  pain,  and  that  in  turn  triggers  a  dissociative  state,  you  can  help  your  client cope  with  it  effectively. 2. Set  up  the  exercise  so  that  there  is  clearly  an  ‘adult  you’  –  the  man/woman  you  are  today  – and  a  ‘younger  you’  or  ‘childhood  you’  –  the  boy/girl  you  were  back  then.  Always  have your  client  look  through  the  eyes  of  her  adult  self  at  the  child;  and  talk  to  the  adult,  and ask  the  adult  about  how  the  child  is  responding.  There’s  a  risk  in  trauma  work  that  if  you ask  the  client  to  actually  imagine  she  IS  the  child  again  that  she  will  plunge  into  a  world  of fusion;  so  it’s  much  safer  to  keep  the  client  identifying  with  the  adult  all  the  way  through, and  seeing  the  child  through  the  adult’s  eyes.

Make  It  Interactive   If  you’re  using  the  script  that  follows  in  one-­‐on-­‐one  therapy  with  a  client,  the  idea  is  that  you  do   this  as  an  interactive  process:  therapist  and  client  talk  to  each  other  throughout  the  exercise.  The   therapist  continually  checks  in  and  asks  the  client  what  the  child  is  doing  and  saying,  how  the  child   looks,  how  the  child  is  responding  -­‐  and  coaches  the  adult  in  what  to  say  and  do  to  help  the  child.     The  things  the  adult  says  to  the  client  should  not  slavishly  follow  the  provided  script  (which  is  just  a   generic  version  of  the  exercise).  Rather  the  therapist  should  help  the  client  to  come  up  with  his   own  words,  actions  and  gestures  toward  the  child.     Of  course,  some  clients  struggle  to  come  up  with  supportive,  caring,  empathic  words  or  actions  –   especially  if  they  come  from  backgrounds  where  neglectful  or  abusive  caregivers  have  failed  to   provide  such  experiences.  In  these  cases,  therapists  can  be  as  directive  as  necessary,  and  may  very   specifically  coach  the  adult  in  what  to  say  and  do  for  the  child.    

©  2019  Russ  Harris      www.ImLearningACT.com  

In  trauma  work,  we’ll  often  encounter  clients  fused  with  “It’s  my  fault”  or  “I  made  it  happen”  or  “I   should  have  stopped  it”,  and  this  is  of  course  very  common  with  childhood  sexual  abuse.  Now  as   therapy  progresses  in  ACT,  typically  we  will  repeatedly  facilitate  defusion  from  “It’s  my  fault”  or  “I   made  it  happen”  or  “I’m  bad”  or  other  unhelpful  narratives.  And  as  we  do  this,  our  clients  will   often  spontaneously  come  up  with  a  more  self-­‐compassionate,  self-­‐accepting  narrative  around   those  childhood  events.  But,  if  for  whatever  reason  this  doesn’t  seem  to  be  happening  as  therapy   progresses,  then  it  can  be  useful  during  inner  child  exercises,  to  have  the  adult  tell  the  child,  “It’s   not  your  fault.”   Our  aim  is  to  encourage  the  adult  in  these  visualisations  to  tell  the  child  whatever  he  or  she  needs   to  know  to  make  sense  of  the  situation,  to  understand  herself  or  what  was  happening,  and   encourage  a  kind,  compassionate,  understanding  response  to  the  child.     As  we  do  this,  often  a  more  self-­‐compassionate  narrative  spontaneously  shows  up,  and  the  client   usually  comes  up  with  “It  wasn’t  my  fault”  without  prompting.    However,  if  she  doesn’t,  I  might   ask,  “Is  she  –  the  younger  you  –  still  holding  on  tightly  to  “It’s  my  fault”?  What  is  it  like  for  her  to  go   through  her  life  holding  on  to  that?  Is  there  something  you  might  like  to  say  to  her  or  do  for  her  to   help  her  unhook  from  that?”   If  the  client  can’t  do  that,  we  may  spend  some  time  on  developing  self-­‐compassion  –  which  of   course  involves  taking  a  kinder,  more  understanding  perspective  on  the  childhood  events  and   looking  at  them  in  a  new  way  that  enables  defusion  from  self-­‐blame.  A  new  more  self-­‐ compassionate  cognition  along  the  lines  “It  wasn’t  my  fault”  would  be  a  natural  and  expected   outcome  of  this  work  –  even  though  we  never  go  in  to  directly  challenge,  dispute,  correct  or  try  to   replace  the  original  thought  “It  was  all  my  fault”.   Very,  very  importantly  in  these  exercises,  we  want  the  adult  to  both  recognise  and  meet  the   physical,  emotional  and  psychological  needs  of  the  child.  In  the  script,  you’ll  find  these  instructions:   • Ask  this  child  if  there’s  anything  she  needs  or  wants  from  you—and  whatever  she  asks  for, give  it  to  her. • If  this  child  asks  you  to  take  him  somewhere  special,  go  ahead  and  do  it.    Offer  a  hug,  a  kiss, words  of  kindness,  or  a  gift  of  some  sort. • This  is  an  exercise  in  imagination,  so  you  can  give  her  anything  she  wants.    If  this  younger  you doesn’t  know  what  he  wants  or  doesn’t  trust  you,  then  let  him  know  that’s  fine,  that  you  are  here for  support  and  will  always  be  here  to  do  whatever  you  can  to  help  .  Take  your  time  with  these  parts  of  the  exercise.  It  is  amazing  the  number  of  creative  ways  clients   come  up  with  to  identify  and  meet  the  needs  of  their  childhood  self  in  these  visualisations.   .    

©  2019  Russ  Harris      www.ImLearningACT.com  

Compassion For The Younger You Find a comfortable position and close your eyes or stare at a spot. Take a few slow, deep breaths and notice them with openness and curiosity. You are about to do an exercise in imagination. Some people imagine with vivid, colourful pictures, much like those on a TV screen; others imagine with vague, fuzzy, unclear pictures; while others imagine without using pictures at all, relying more on words and ideas. However you imagine is just fine. Now imagine yourself getting into a time machine. Once inside that machine, you travel back in time to visit yourself as a young child. Visit this child at some point in their life when they are in a lot of pain, immediately after some distressing childhood event. Now step out of the time machine and make contact with the younger you. Take a good look at this young child and get a sense of what he is going through. Is she crying? Is he angry or frightened? Does she feel guilty or ashamed? What does this child really need: love, kindness, understanding, forgiveness, nurturing or acceptance? In a kind, calm and gentle voice, tell this ‘younger you’ that you know what just happened, that you know what he’s been through; that you know how much she is hurting. Tell this child that he doesn’t need anyone else to validate that experience because YOU know. Tell this child that she survived the experience and it is now just a painful memory. Tell this child that you are here, that you know how much it hurts and you want to help in any way you can. Ask this child if there’s anything she needs or wants from you — and whatever she asks for, give it to her. If this child asks you to take him somewhere special, go ahead and do it. Offer a hug, a kiss, words of kindness, or a gift of some sort. This is an exercise in imagination, so you can give anything she wants. If this younger you doesn’t know what he wants, or doesn’t trust you, then let him know that’s fine; that you are here for support, and will always be there to do whatever you can to help. Tell this child that you are here, that you care, and that you are going to help her recover from this pain to go on to lead a full, rich and valued life. Continue to radiate caring and kindness towards this younger you, in any way you can think of through words, gestures or deeds. Once you have a sense that this younger you has accepted your caring and kindness, let her be and bring awareness to your breathing.

© Russ Harris 2019 www.ImLearningACT.com